Vampires Are Kinky
by spampacker
Summary: Rachel goes on a quest to gain Hazama's affection(mostly for the sex)! But, Hazama doesn't approve! One-Sided HazamaXRachel. No actual in-detail sex!
1. Vampires are Kinky

*After easily slapping a already-weakened Valkenhyn(courtesy of Relius), Hazama happily walks into House Alucard with no one to even bother him. No one had greeted him inside, however(he took note of Rachel's bad manners). The reason why he came to "visit" Rachel was simple; he had enough of her interference and planned on shutting her lil' operation down completely. If Hazama COULD beat Rachel anyways. It's not like he could truly be killed if he lost. IF he lost.*

"I really must thank Phantom for her abilities! Always being at my disposal must be hard on her schedule! Kekeke..." Interruption. In the form of lightning. He hated interruption. He could just ignore it and keep talking, but he couldn't, because he was busy being SHOCKED to death. "Youch! About time you arrived, Mrs. Goth." Of course this guess wasn't blind, no one on the Wheel of Fate's roster of fighters would use lightning, other than Mrs. Goth!

"Silence Terumi. I am in no mood to play with you." She was obviously in a bad mood. Not like he cared.

"How inconsiderate of you! What if I wanted to play this time, hmm? Perhaps a lesson in manners is in order?"

"Again with your baffling. A lady needs her rest." And the folks over at the Intelligence Department say he's the sloth... Too bad he killed almost all of them!

"Are you chicken? You know where I'm headed with this conversation!" An eyebrow is raised. A pretty neat one, eh?

"No, are you a baffoon? I'm not going to have 'sex' with you, pedophile!"

"Woah, Woah, Woah! Where did pedophile come from?" Should have left when she said she didn't want to play!

"I am no fool to your devilish charms, Terumi. And I will not be taken as a toy to your pleasure."

"OK seriously, did the EYEBROW make you think otherwise? I want to fight you batshit insane-bloodsucker! Where did you even think of that, in your ass?"

"I don't believe you. Taking rejection from a woman isn't your strong suit, I see." OOOOO BOY. She really asked to get her ass beaten by Mr. 50 Meter.

"Look pal, I want to fight, not have sex with a 1000 year old loli. Got that?"

"..."

"Finally listened for once? I swear I had a camera in this pocket!"

"..." She must be disappointed from 'No sex'. LOL.

"I do believe I am out of touch lately. To even think of such_ vulgar_ thoughts..." She blushes. Would have said it was cute if I wasn't going to torture her to death.

"Nago, Gii." Her dolls arrive to the party! "If you want a fight, brace yourself, Yuuki Terumi."

* * *

She really is out of touch! Realllllllly sad that she didn't put up too much of a fight. It wasn't over yet though, so I guess that counts for something?

"Pardon me, I am still thinking about-" She puts two hands on her mouth. "Princess!" Both of the dolls exclaim in a worrying tone!

"Still thinking about WHAT?"

"Shut up! My thoughts are none of your concern!" She throws a red... flying sasuage at me, that misses. "Princess! Is something the matter? You seem to be blus-" Kicks a homosexual pillow at me. It also misses!

"Great job, you just threw away your only weapons against me. I'm not stupid to see where this fight will end up!" And with that, checkmate(as Relius would say!)!

*Chains tangle around Rachel. She is trapped, with no escape.*

"Curses, if only my _curious mind_... didn't... think of _such possibilities_. This must be an effect of the continuum shift..."

"Awesome. Mind if you close your mouth for a little bit?" I bring out my handy knifes, not only good for gaining meter, but for torturing fucking vampires!

"..._mmm_..." ...wut...

"That includes sounds. Your father should have taught you the principles of SHUTTING UP!" I forgot to mention sexual sounds. My bad!

"This... may be... a _odd_ favor to ask, and I have... _a feeling_ you don't accept favors... but please... talk _dirty_ to me..."

**HOLY FUCK NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE** "WHAT?"

"Terumi... as much as I hate to_ succumb_... _my sexual fetishes may be overcoming me in this situation_..." NO SHIT!

"OKAY, YOU INSANE PIECE OF SHIT. IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A PRANK THEN I'LL BE SURE TO GIVE YOU A SLOW DEATH." Not like I wasn't going to give her one in the first place.

"_...mmmm...yes..._"

"**YOU GETTING OFF TO THIS? YOU SICK FUCK! TIME TO DIE!**"

And after that faithful sentence, the largest moan came out of her mouth. I now know where 'Moans of Pain" came from, and how they literally meant 'Moans of Pain'. The more you know!

"_Ooh Terumi!_ I always _dreamed of this moment_... please, don't hold back!" This was NOT like shitty vampire at all. WTF IS HAPPENING?

"Okay, you just killed the mood and then shit on top of it. No fetishes for you, kinky." KABLAMO. A backhand to her face that knocks her out. In her final moments before fainting, she had the face of disappointment. I would have loved it, if I didn't understand what it actually meant.

* * *

*Rachel wakes up. She woke up from the best "dream" of her life, and is in a mood of disappointment. She is on top of her bed, a blanket over her.*

"What a dream... Sad I had wake up at this time..."

*Rachel looks to her left. There she finds...*

"...Terumi?"

"Hello, shitty vampire. Let's make out!"

*Rachel immediately complies.*

* * *

*Rachel wakes up. She woke up from the best dream of her life, and is in a mood of disappointment. She is on top of her bed, a blanket over her.*

"What a dream... Sad I had wake up at this time..."

*Rachel looks to her left. There she finds...*

"A note?"

*She reads the note left by Hazama.*

Dear shitty vampire,  
get laid already

*She throws the note angrily into a sleeping Gii.*

"**YYEEEEEOOOUUUCCCCCHHHH**"

"Oh Terumi... how I... _mmm_... _despise_ _you_..."

*Valkenhyn hears this and grabs an ancient artifact... the House Alucard megaphone.*

"**TERUMI, IF YOU SHOW YOUR FACE AROUND MILADY, I WILL TEAR YOU A CENTURY-OLD WOUND WITH MY BARE HANDS!**"

* * *

*Hazama hears this, with amusement and anger.*

"I'll let Relius take care of the doggy & Lady Sex-a-lot..."

*Phantom teleports Hazama into his office at the NOL. There, he sits on his desk, arranging his thoughts to get prepared with another hopefully-not similar encounter with Rachel.*

* * *

One of the possibilities... of the continuum shift


	2. More Kinky Times

*Hazama approaches the all-too-well-known Orient Town Restaurant. Despite this strange place of location, Relius had tasked him to find a suitable restaurant for... EATING. Relius, however, was disappointed in this choice, as he did not like the lower-levels of Kagutsuchi, let alone dine in them.*

"Why Relius, fancy meeting you here! I hope you don't mind that I chose this place! You see, I just go to the store and buy eg-"

Interruption. Again with this crap. Oh, how he hates interruption. This time it was Detonator: Ignis. Relius isn't too happy, I take it?

"Quiet, Hazama." He points towards a random vampire. That random vampire happens to be the only one in Kagutsuchi.

"Oh my. Surprise attack in 5?"

"Not quite what I had in mind. Let's see what the observer is doing, shall we?"

* * *

*Rachel is talking to Ragna the Bloodedge, conveniently situated behind a wall, where Relius and Hazama couldn't have seen him the first time around. Ragna seems to be in immense pain, leaning on the same wall. Rachel is in amusement however, and appears to be yawning.*

"I grow tired of you. Perhaps you need to pick your battles more, but you don't even appreciate my advice."

"Shut up... rabbit...I'll get back at you..." And with that, Ragna faints. Again, Rachel sighs.

"Do a better job next time you want to sneak up on me."

*Relius appears, followed by a slow Hazama.*

"Relius Clover. What do you ask of me? I am preoccupied with my guest here."

"Nothing of importance, observer. I just happen to be around the lower-levels, and I thought a little momentary chat would be nice."

"An ordinary chat? What are you scheming, the both of you?"

"I, for one, plan on talking about the effects of the continuum shift."

"Do you take me for a fool? I am well aware of the effects."

"Then you must have the ability to control the effects?"

"...Where are you headed with this?"

"HELLO SHITTY VAMPIRE!"

*Rachel completely ignores Hazama. She does not want to be reminded of their events... But memories cannot be stopped. Until then, Rachel realizes, what Relius meant."

"How do you know of what me and that... vile pedophile did in my chambers?"

"I have my sources. Now, what say you give me all the details? And when I mean all the details, I mean ALL THE DETAILS."

Hazama smirks randomly. "Colonel, I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff! I'm kind of disgusted in this new info about you! What were you going on about before? Hm... Oh yes! Is this an effect of the continuum shift too?"

"No. Go run along now, Hazama." Relius signals for Hazama to go into the restaurant. "Now, you were just beginning to tell me what transpired in your castle?"

"NO. It is none of your business, puppeteer." She clearly recalls the events, as much as she hates to. She had no control over her urges, they just... spat out. One could say she had uncontrollable love over one of the Six Heroes, but she preferred it to be... a chain fetish.

"Alright then. I respect your privacy. I guess I'll have to examine the tape recording of what happened yesterday night." He knew this broke a nerve. He IS a master in this stuff.

"Wha!? Why is there a recording, let alone a camera in my chambers?"

"A dear named Kokonoe sent this to me! But, as you can see, I require some beverages before I attempt to watch it. You know how drinks sell in the theaters, correct?"

Why did Kokonoe have a camera in her room? Is she into her... sleeping? No, this isn't the work of Kokonoe. It can't be the work of Relius or Hazama either. Who could it possibly be?

"Argh... my limbs..."

Then it hit her. Who else could it possibly be other then the OTHER pedophile in this world?

"It seems your guest is waking up. Be a dear and don't let that happen."

"With pleasure." A hard kick to the head ends Ranga's pain, and starts a new wave of hurt.

"**BLERGH!**"

"I'll knock some sense into you after I'm done with him." Another. This time, it finishes the job.

"Well. Off to the restaurant. Give Valkenhyn my regards, and tell him that squirming will not ease the pain."

Rachel could do nothing about Relius. She also hated how Relius is even watching the tape. Just the thought of his observant eyes, looking at Terumi and her... how kinky. Maybe she should it publicly next time.

Wait, what was she thinking? Rachel clearly shakes her head in disgust, but digusting in a good way...

She shook her head even more. Ragna woke up at this time, and in his vision, it appeared as if she had a seizure.

"Woah... bunny leech... you got a... seizure?" Ragna's constant coughing of blood made him barely understandable.

"No. I advise you don't ask questions, and do remind me of the talk we will have about your camera in my chambers.

*Ragna looks at her with a scared face.*

SHE KNOWS? OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHI-

*Ragna is kicked into oblivion. Boom.*

"Oh, how Terumi would be so happy to see this..." And if you thought that wasn't enough head shaking, then you may be pleased to hear that more head shaking that would rival Tager in a Heavy-Metal configuration(copyrighted by Kokonoe)had occured at this moment.

"Seeking for Terumi's approval? What have I become..." She teleports back into Castle Alucard with disgust.

* * *

*Rachel appears to be sleeping. With a smile on her face. This a rare sight Ragna could have seen if Rachel didn't take that camera off of her room.*

-TRANSITION INTO RACHEL'S SEX DREAM WITH HAZAMA-

"Hey babe. Want to... see my snake?"

"Yes please!"

"No one can resist my... snake charms."

"Oh Terumi, I love you!"

"And I love you too! Now let's do this... OVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERAND OVERANDOVER-"

*Rachel wakes up.*

* * *

*Hazama is sitting in his chair. It's actually morning, despite Rachel's bedtime, but who even knows how vampires work?*

After eating his 50th hard-boiled egg, Hazama continues to watch Noel fail miserably at gaining Major Kisaragi's approval. A camera watches them while the pair go at it, and Hazama is content on watching it as long as they don't break the NOL cameras. "Hah! These two... Jeez, they could be a sitcom!"

POW. A window breaks. A questionable window, to be exact. Who the hell puts a window in the camera room? Even he knows that this is a severe design flaw.

"**TERUMI!**" What do ya know? It's bloodbitch!

"What is it now? Finally decided to kill me? blahblahblah... Look, I've listened to that too many times. Just fight, alright?"

"No, I approach you... in... peace." She is so hating this. The look on her face!

"Oh?"

"I came to ask a very... important question. And I want you to answer with complete seriousness."

"You have my word!"

"Good. I came to ask... if..."

"Oh my! The suspense! It's killing me! Who knows what she question she mi-"

"Do you love me?"

"**NO.**"

"Oh... Well... I... love you, but you don't share this quality with me..."

"You? Love me? This is priceless! Can't wait till ol' Haku hears about this! KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE-"

Rachel tears up a little. Knowing that this relationship is never going to work out is depressing, but she could always go for Golden Tager... Who am I kidding? Golden Tager is out of her league. She wanted Hazama BAD.

"Terumi. You will be my spouse or I will kill you where you stand."

"Spouse? Woah, we ain't there yet, buddy! Never thought you'd be that type of girl!"

*Rachel is clearly angry. Hazama's attitude toward her... Hate, Hate, More Hate, Hate as the dressing, Put a little Hate in between the Hate and the Hate. It was very... arousing. The thought of angry sex happening in the chambers. Oh, and Nago and Gii watching! Maybe Valkenhyn if he doesn't tear Terumi to shreds first! One things for sure though; Ragna **WILL** watch it. She's going to try at this stuff later, just not today. For now, she needs to sleep and forget all about Hazama...*

* * *

-TRANISITION INTO HAZAMA'S SEXY TORTURE CHAMBER OF KINKY SEX-

"Hello Rachel. I finally got you in my grasps. You are no longer going to interfere with my plans! KEKEKEKE! It's time to torture you. And what else is a better method of torture... then tons of kinky, kinky sex?"

*Hazama pulls out Ouroboros. It's pink too. How fitting!*

"YES! Aah! More, please, more!... Don't stop! Ooooo... Aaah..."

*Rachel wakes up.*

* * *

*Rachel immediately hops out of her bed and kicks the door open out of her room.*

"I need to stop with these horrible dreams! How the continuum shift can change me in such a way so uncouth of me... it sickens me!"


	3. Not Enough Kinky

*Rachel teleports out of her castle with extreme haste. She had to channel herself into completely removing Hazama from her mindset. Defeating the continuum shift may be a tough task, but then again, this is Rachel Alucard, master of House Alucard.*

"I seem to be at a village of sorts. Is this the Kaka clan village?"

She looks around. Yeppers, this is indeed the Kaka village. Pretty ordinary, a dirty environment(to be expected in lower levels) with many children prancing, and dancing across the village. One thing stood out, however. A very 'scruffy' man. This man happens to be Bang Fishisalamiwasabi, as the Kaka's would say. It appears he is spinning at an insane rate, and moving in the air at an even more insane rate, and is heading her way.

*Rachel simply moves to the left. Bang suffers a hard fall.*

"EEEEERRRRGGGGG!" This pitiful creature is tremendously... pitiful. Rachel does not feel obligated to give him a hand.

"WAIT! HELP ME, CHILD!" Did this man call her a child? Sure, she may look like one... but who's really the child here?

"I am no child. And no, I will not help you if you plan on speaking with such strength."

"um... HELP ME, WOMAN! I AM IN PAIN! SEND ME TO MISS LITCHI'S CLINIC!" Litchi? Who is she?

"I APPEAR TO HAVE A BROKEN RIB CAGE! HELP ME!" Oh. She's the one with the world-record cleavage?

"...IS THAT MY KIDNEY?" Maybe Hazama is interested in abnormal cleavage. It doesn't surprise her if he did...

Hazama again? She's been through this. Shaking her head more will only break her neck. This time she just... nods, accepting it, doubtfully.

"WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN ME?"

"Quiet! I will take you to Litchi if you stop your constant talking. Your booming voice is frustrates me, I am trying to think!"

"YES! THANK YO-"

*Rachel knocks Bang out. She then drags him all the way into the desired clinic."

* * *

"What happened to Bang?"

"He was flying over the village and suffered a hard fall. This man then exaggerated his wounds, and it started to get on my nerves. So I dragged him here, post-haste."

"Oh my! I wonder who could have done that to him!..." Litchi looked worried. For this beast? She must have been into some pretty weird males. "...why did he want to go to a clinic? These wounds are really not brutal. In fact, this is just a scratch on his arm!"

"You see, I thi-" She was interrupted with a thought. Revealing to Litchi that Bang loves her? She doesn't engage in this sort of stuff, and it would breach his privacy. "I think he might have been hit in the skull with a solid metal bat."

"What!?"

"Just a guess."

*On that note, Rachel leaves the room casually. Litchi is stunned on the images of Bang getting hit with a bat. Actually, it's quite amusing.*

* * *

*Rachel enters the room Bang is resting in, as the path she is taking is the closest way into the reception, and into the exit.*

"Wait! Young gi-... I mean young woman! I sensed that you were going to reveal a secret I have about the beautiful Miss Litchi. I thank you for not doing so!" Supposedly this is a 'thank you' from this man? This man doesn't need to be graced with a 'your welcome'. "You see, I have kept this very well, and I wanted my announcement of my love to be grand, and spectacular! I have been waiting for the right moment for ages!" The right moment is never going to come for him. Who would want to be with a scruffy and loud man?

"I... suppose one's love should be memorable. But tell me, what makes you so sure that the doctor shares these feelings with you?"

"Simple! I INVESTIGATE(not to be confused with stalking, or peeking) what Miss Litchi favors and what she doesn't! I train myself in the favorable way that will surely gain her affection!"

"Interesting..."

* * *

*Rachel sneaks by the NOL's defenses. She is going at it like Ragna the Bloodedge, except without the grand massacre. In fact, she seeks only one person. He's right now sitting in the camera room. She knows this, because she's INVESTIGATING through a window(which surprisingly is already fixed), and to remain undetected, she hides in a bush in the neighboring outdoors section. Hazama seems to be looking at the display in the top-left.*

"..." Hazama remains silent. He strangely isn't talking to himself, like he always does. He is focused on that display. Wonder who he is watching?

* * *

*Ragna sneaks by the NOL's defenses. He is going at it like Ragna the Bloodedge, like the true badass he is. In fact, that badass is him! Hahahah! Anyway, he noticed Rachel was acting quite sneaky today, so he went along in the ride and followed her to this area. His true intentions are simple; to stalk Rach- to see what Terumi is scheming at this moment. He's totally looking at the window. Yeah. Yeah!*

"What's the bunny doing here? Is she going to attack that son of a bitch? I'm in on her plan!"

* * *

*Jin Kisaragi sneaks by the NOL's defenses. He is going at it like Ragna the Bloodedge, lik-*

NII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SAN

NII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SAN

NII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SANNII-SAN

* * *

*Tsubaki sneaks by the NOL's defenses. She is going at it like Ragna the Bloodedge, like what he did in that other Hierarchical City a few months back. Why was she comparing herself like Bloodedge? This is a criminal who is wanted dead! Until then, she notices the Major having a seizure... in a bush. She doesn't want to be detected, as the shy girl she is, so she hides in the neighboring bush.*

"Wait, did Jin say Nii-San?... Is that Ragna the Bloodedge?... IS RAGNA THE BLOODEDGE HIS BROTHER?... IS JIN IN LOVE WITH THE INFAMOUS RAGNA THE BLOODEDGE, WHO IS HIS BROTHER?" Tsubaki just felt a tingling sensation between her thighs. "INCEST? YES! INCEST! GAY INCEST!"

* * *

*Hazama is currently sitting in the camera room. Like what Ragna and Rachel see, he is sitting in his chair silent. What they don't see, however, is the smile on his face.*

(Kekeke! These idiots must be clueless! Attempting to spy on me, Rachel? Nice try, stupid!)

*The television displays the outdoor section. This, however, is below the top-left T.V.*

* * *

*Rachel inspects the top-left T.V with careful inspection. She notices a little girl, with a noticeably revealing outfit, carrying a solid metal bat, and wearing a large bell around her neck. She's obviously looking at the wrong display, but who knows where Hazama is even looking with his eyes closed all the time?*

"That... PEDOPHILE! To think he can fool me! The nerve! His appetite for young girls is not quenched already!?"

*Rachel is jealous, and she knows it. She hates that girl, her jealousy, and Terumi. She'll guarantee that she's going to deal with the girl first. Also, she's gotta deal with the incoming explosion too.*

"What's this? A... 'Hazama's Trusty Land Mine'? ...LAND MINE?!"

* * *

*The outdoors section explodes. Rachel, Ragna, and Jin flew off in the distance. Tsubaki however, was lucky enough to be slightly out of the blast-radius, though she still suffered from the explosion's tendency to give anyone a bad hair day.*

"First Lieutenant Yayoi? What are you doing out here in this glorious day?"

*Tsubaki doesn't respond. Her nose is bleeding... and her uniform looked a bit messy. And her... pants? Where are they?*

"My, My! This is a very questionable hobby you have here! Doing it out in public too? I know WHAT ELSE to put in your file..." Hazama shrugs. "Oh well, it's not like anyone even does anything around here anymore. Carry on!"

Hazama leaves without a care in the world. Tsubaki just lays on the grass, who just had the happiest moment of her life. She then replies with a "Yes sir..."


	4. Maximum Kinky

*Rachel lands a hard fall into some random street. After recovering, she sits on the ground and pouts.*

"What Terumi did was uncalled for! He knows I love him..." Rachel sighs. "What a miserable man! To think of the kinky sex we will have in the future..." More depression ensues. However, this is cut short as she realizes what this street is... the same street that miserable girl was in a few moments ago!

"...If I'm quick, I should be able to catch her!" Rachel's plan was to take a pick of the girl's hair. There, she can begin crafting a transformation spell on herself, making her appear like her. Sadly, the clothes don't come with the transformation, but her top priority is getting that DNA.

* * *

*Platinum The Trinity(Luna and Sena, to be exact) walks on the abandoned streets of Kagutsuchi. There, she 'destroys' anyone fortunate enough to stand in her way, including a passed-out Ragna. Not so much as destroy for Ragna however, just stealing his money. Rachel witnesses this. She doesn't stop her yet. Ragna deserved this.*

"Hah! He's got a shit ton of money in here! And he doesn't feed us nearly enough food! What a jerk!" Luna is this evil, sinister personality. She's feisty too. Just how Hazama likes them, as Rachel would presume.

"Luna... at least leave him a thank you note! Your taking his money which he earned so ha-"

"Save it for later! Want to have enough food for a lifetime(1 day) or leave this rotten piece of garbage to grow until elephant turd explodes out of him and destroys the planet?"

"..." Sena doesn't respond. Hazama's into dual-persona? What? Rachel can't take this, Hazama preferring a shy timid boy and an angry, short-tempered girl over a refined lady like herself? That's preposterous! So she decided to express her anger by summoning lightning.

"WOAH! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" Rachel messes up big time. She didn't wanted to be noticed yet!

"Whoever's out there, LUNA'S GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS INTO SUBMISSION IF YOU DON'T COME OUT!" Sike. Rachel WANTED to be noticed now. She's going to teach the girl a little lesson.

*Rachel reveals herself, getting out of her hiding position.*

"Hello. I am Rachel Alu-"

"Shut up! Put up your fists! You have alot of guts to come around this part of the neighborhood... YO!" Luna senses a face-palm. Wait... two face-palms.

"... I am Rachel Alucard. I am here not to fight, but to..." But what? Just to talk? She's not going even going to bother to listen, anyways. "But to have your autograph. You are truly an inspiration to me."

"What? You have fans, Luna?"

"I do? Umm... Yeah, sure. What do you want signed...?" It worked? Did she really fall for that?

"I want you to sign..." Nothing. There was nothing she can use as an object for her to sign!

"Hello? Is this a prank?" Still nothing. Maybe there will be something on the ground, and she might pretend she dropped it unknowingly...?

"This IS a prank, ISN'T IT? C'MERE YOU!" With superior reflexes, Rachel grabs the solid metal bat randomly on the ground and hits her in the head. Whoops!

"Attempting to tackle a lady? How low of you." Now she's got a reliable way to get some of her hair. And also a reliable way to get the clothes... but of course, she senses a third person, none other then Trinity, one of the Six Heroes. Hiding in a body with 2 souls occupied within? Strange. She obviously can't take her clothes if SHE is still conscious. She's gonna have to do it the hard way.*

* * *

*Rachel teleports into Castle Alucard. There, she is greeted by Nago, Gii, and her faithful servant, Valkenhyn.*

"Valkenhyn, it appears your wounds have been healed very quickly. Excellent, I needed you to run an errand for me."

"Anything for you milady."

"Good. Would you mind fetching some cloth for me? I would like to try my hand at sowing."

"Yes. I will come back as soon as possible with the cloth."

"Please do get some white cloth and some... bright cyan cloth."

* * *

*Rachel finishes the transformation spell. It took her a long time, as spellcasters are usually well-educated, and therefore they don't tread on useless subjects, like transformation. Therefore, there is little to no material on the spell. Rachel wouldn't blame them, as she doesn't see herself even thinking about transformation... But alas, there she is, with a transformation spell.*

"Magnificent! I have obtained the tranformation spell! I shall now win Hazama's affections! ALL of Hazama's affections! Then the KINKY SEX WILL COMMENCE! Hahahahaha!" Nago and Gii slowly drop the tea Rachel ordered and ran out to hide under her bed. Rachel notices and realizes the effects of the continuum shift may have doubled already!

"..."

* * *

*Rachel now enters the NOL branch of Kagutsuchi, and heads towards Hazama's office. (Assuming he doesn't spend all day on the camera room, that is)She has the transformation spell on, and a copied version of Platinum's strange dress, though she wishes it would be more accurate. She's got a voice change spell too, something Valkenhyn suggested when he got hold of what she was doing. He was really accepting about it, and she really should thank her butler for that after this is over. (Now she's 100% positive that Valkenhyn's going to watch Hazama and her do it all night without interference!)*

"This is it..." Rachel knocks on the door.

Silence. This silence was really getting on her nerves. Will Hazama see through her disguise? What will he do if he does? Is he still going to give her the kinky s-

"Come in!"

*Rachel enters Hazama's office. Pretty tidy!*

"Aah? And who may you be, little girl?"

Playing dumb, Hazama? Classic trick, but very foolish.

"I.. am.. er.. LUNA. BITCH."

"Oh! Your the kid with the temper! Nice to meet you! I'm Hazama, from the Intelligence Department!"

Hazama is so... different around other people. Why can't he act like this to her?

"er...SHUT UP...STUPID...GREEN HAIR DUDE!" She really didn't expect to hit her personality with excellent accuracy, but she didn't expect to fail this badly...

"Are you stuttering? This isn't like you, ya know!"

"..."

While Rachel should have been thinking on what to say next, she was too busy misinterpreting this whole situation as cosplay sex.

"Hello? You in there?"

"...oh!...YES I.. AM IN HERE YOU..BITCH."

"You seem awfully calm today, and that's saying something! Any chance you went to therapy, recently?"

"SHUT UP AND HAVE SEX WITH ME!" Rachel couldn't hold it! The fetishes, the continuum shift... the thought of the kinky, kinky sex that will happen! It overcomes her a thousand fold!

"What?"

"...YOU HEARD ME YOU...PEDO!"

"lolwut"

Rachel decides that she's got nothing left to lose. She's already as someone else, and that someone else already has a bad reputation. No harm in that, right?

"Ever since we met, I always imagined having you tie me up in chains, then pleasing me, as if I was your servant! I had dreams about it every single night! Please, give me this opportunity! No one will even know..."

":I"

"I want you with me, Terum-...Hazama! Please, command me has your sex slave and slap me!" Rachel points at her buttocks. "And please, oh dear god PLEASE use your Ouroburos as a-"

"Hey, shitty vampire, you dropped the personality!"

*Aaaaand mission aborted. As quick as a cheetah, Rachel heads out the door with lightning fast steps and teleports out of there, and into her chambers ASAP.*

"lolololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololo lolololololololol"

* * *

"How did that fool know? I had him with my genius disguise, master sowing skills and my magic! Terumi..." Then the most exhilarating sex scene involving Hazama AND Terumi was envisioned in her head. It felt like that kinky sex scene happened for 3 weeks... In fact, it did!"

* * *

*Rachel wakes up 3 weeks from the previous scene. She sees she has her regular attire now, and it appears that both the spells have worn off. This was probably the work of Valkenhyn.*

"Oh my... What a dream! Sad I had to wake up at this time..."

*Rachel looks to her left. She, of course, sees nothing.*

"The events that transpired in my dreams... If only they were to be true."

"Milady, you have woken up! I worry of you, as you slept for 3 weeks!"

"I am well aware of that, Valkenhyn, as my dream made sure to inform me of how long I had done it."

"What is this 'it' you speak of, milady?"

"Nothing! Off with you, Valkenhyn! I require privacy!"

*Valkenhyn leaves her room.*

"I need to stop displaying cowardice towards Terumi. I need to say all my... questionable beliefs of what should be happening in my chambers."

* * *

*Hazama is at the Orient Town restaurant with Relius, both sitting, occupying a table. Hazama is eating some random dish while Relius sips on some kind of drink, both not kinky enough to even mention. They happen to be the only customers and the only people in there, as the employees and the bystanders are absent because it's New Year's Eve. Of course, this is an empty place, perfect to discuss plans while dining. I wonder how they got a meal in the first place?*

"Well you see, when the man said, 'Hey, I got diabetes, and I want to have your candy', you don't give him the candy, you give him-"

"**TERUMI**." Rachel is confident to confront Terumi, and will not cower away this time.

"Oh no! It's SNAKEFETISH!"

"Very clever, Terumi." She puts her hands around Terumi's neck, and sits on top of him. She then whispers in a seductive tone in his ear: "We will do the_ kinky, kinky sex_ I have mentioned in the past. If you resist, then I will punish you. With _kinky, kinky sex._"

"Hazama, I didn't know you were in a relationship with the observer. I'm curious on how it even landed there." Relius had a slight grin. Hazama notices this of course. He's pissed, but he knows that Rachel wants him to be, so he refrains.

"Alright, hands off the merchandise, OK? You shouldn't touch stuff without perm-" A pause. Relius raises his eyebrow. And Rachel... She's got a not-so-slight smile.

"Don't attempt to resist,_ Terumi_. You know the rules."

"**RELIUS! HELP ME FOR PETE'S SAKE! PUNCH HER! PUNCH HER NOW!**"

"I'm not going to. I respect everyone's privacy..."

"**YOUR SHITTING ME RIGHT? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE!**"

*Relius closes the door behind him before Hazama shouts his last sentence. Of his life.*

"Excuse me... I require you to look at me... while I '_strip_'."

* * *

*Hazama wakes up. She woke up from the worst 'dream' of his life, and is in a mood of complete fear. He laying down on top of his desk, hat over him.*

"Ergh... What the hell happened that made me so hungover?"

*Hazama looks to his right. There, he finds...*

"**HOOOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT**"

*Rachel wakes up beside Hazama. She yawns, takes off Hazama's stylish jacket, then puts her arms around Hazama's neck, much to his displeasure.*

"**HOW THE HELL AM I ON TOP OF MY DESK WITH YOU IN MY OFFICE?**"

"Oh? You didn't remember? We did it while we were walking towards your office. Luckily for you, The citizens were too busy watching the New Year's festivities to notice our... session. Heehee!"

"**WE DID IT... WHILE WALKING? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?**"

"Why tell you the details... when I can show you?"

*Before Rachel could strip Hazama of his clothes, someone knocks on the door.*

"How disappointing. I was really in the mood for another round..." She could always do it tomorrow! Or just wait 30 minutes and come back in and do it again. "In a minute, I am occupied with my guest at this moment!"

"**AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG GHHHHHHHHH**" Hazama is SO pissed! She only wishes he could save that energy for the angry sex they will have at a future date.

"Quickly, Terumi. We must organize ourselves. We don't want to be seen like this(Rachel actually does want to) in front of your partner, now do we?"

*Hazama puts on his jacket worn by Rachel. Rachel, however, has to put on her entire dress. It's hard to put it on too, but she doesn't mind. It's delicate work!*

"Now you may come in."

*Relius enters Hazama's office.*

"Good. I was starting to fall asleep! Rachel, if you please. I need to talk the Hazama alone."

"I shall leave. For next time, Terumi." After Rachel left the room, Hazama started grabbing the nearest trashcan and started to vomit. Horribly. Who else experiences a loli forcing you to do kinky deeds to her?

* * *

"Now... If you don't give him the candy, what DO you give him?"


End file.
